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My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
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Dreams
Most people have their own, sometimes secret dreams and through reluctance to leave their “comfort zone” or because of life commitments like having a family to support they have suppressed their dreams.
All of us seriously underestimate our abilities and potential, consequently without having some external support we give up our dreams.
We have all been given the gift of dreaming.
Some times dreaming helps us to escape reality and create a vision of the future that we want. Every worthwhile goal always starts with a big dream.
However, there is a huge difference between dreaming big and having big goals – dreams are wonderful, but they are only products of our imagination.
Until we take action and turn our dream into a goal it will remain a “beautiful castle in the air”. Goals on the other hand, are achievable because they are always followed by an action.
A life coach can present a new view of our situation, add some encouragement and open our eyes to the many opportunities to chase the dream.
A coach will also seek commitment and action from the client – as dreams and goals without repeated and consistent action are doomed to failure.
"Success is merely the process of fulfilling your own hopes and dreams--not the standards set by society, but by the standards set by you."
George Pataki
Thursday 9 December 2010
Saturday 27 November 2010
My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk Web http://www.rebuildlifecoach.co.uk
Finance:
Due to the fact that Banks and credit card companies have been chasing customers and encouraging them to get deeper and deeper in debt, a large number of people find themselves in serious trouble with their finances.
We live in an “instant gratification” culture and that mindset contributes to this situation.
A life coach can guide and encourage their clients towards a more responsible and controlled regime in regards to finances – better budgeting, more responsible purchasing and the possibility of transference of debt to a more favourable account.
The client will no doubt know all this themselves, but until reminded and encouraged by the coach’s questions, will not feel able to discipline themselves as necessary.
The coach must not, under any circumstance give financial advice to a client and must recommend that the client seek the advice of an independent financial adviser – the client to choose their own IFA.
Questions to ask a client who has a financial problem:
1. Do you feel unhappy with your financial position?
2. What can you do to change this?
3. What will it cost?
4. Emotionally?
5. Who will it affect?
6. What goals do you need to set to achieve the outcome you desire?
7. What are the barriers to achieving those goals?
8. What are the ways that you can overcome the barriers?
9. What else?
10. How will you feel when you achieve those goals?
Finance:
Due to the fact that Banks and credit card companies have been chasing customers and encouraging them to get deeper and deeper in debt, a large number of people find themselves in serious trouble with their finances.
We live in an “instant gratification” culture and that mindset contributes to this situation.
A life coach can guide and encourage their clients towards a more responsible and controlled regime in regards to finances – better budgeting, more responsible purchasing and the possibility of transference of debt to a more favourable account.
The client will no doubt know all this themselves, but until reminded and encouraged by the coach’s questions, will not feel able to discipline themselves as necessary.
The coach must not, under any circumstance give financial advice to a client and must recommend that the client seek the advice of an independent financial adviser – the client to choose their own IFA.
Questions to ask a client who has a financial problem:
1. Do you feel unhappy with your financial position?
2. What can you do to change this?
3. What will it cost?
4. Emotionally?
5. Who will it affect?
6. What goals do you need to set to achieve the outcome you desire?
7. What are the barriers to achieving those goals?
8. What are the ways that you can overcome the barriers?
9. What else?
10. How will you feel when you achieve those goals?
Saturday 18 September 2010
My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
How do you deal with setbacks?
How many times have you started a diet, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?
Don’t worry, you are not the only one!
Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.
There are two ways of facing difficulties.
You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.
Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.
Your response to issues and difficulties
When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.
There is an unwritten rule that says:
Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!
So, if after setback you ask yourself something like
“Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?”
Your mind will probably come out with:
“Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”
Sound familiar?
Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:
“What did I learn from this setback for next time?”
Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.
Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:
· Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
· What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
What is good about this situation?
How can I make the most of this situation?
What can I learn from it?
What are the facts about this problem?
How can we make it a successful outcome?
· Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out.
· View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem
Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.
What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers!
Write these down now and make them a habit.
"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."
Liberace
How do you deal with setbacks?
How many times have you started a diet, a new way of thinking, or tried something new and then a setback occurs and you just go back to the way you were?
Don’t worry, you are not the only one!
Setbacks and difficulties occur all of the time – they are a natural activity of life.
There are two ways of facing difficulties.
You either change or alter the difficulty or you can alter yourself to be able to deal with it.
Deal with difficulties correctly and it will enhance your confidence, deal with them incorrectly and they can do some serious damage to your self worth.
Your response to issues and difficulties
When you are faced with any setback your ability to deal with it can be turned around into a position of strength by asking yourself positive empowering questions.
There is an unwritten rule that says:
Ask your mind a stupid question and you will get a stupid answer!
So, if after setback you ask yourself something like
“Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?”
Your mind will probably come out with:
“Because you are useless and good things do not happen to you!”
Sound familiar?
Instead, if you ask yourself a positive empowering question like:
“What did I learn from this setback for next time?”
Your mind will kick into solution mode and help.
Here are some rules and things to think about when setbacks do occur:
· Acknowledge that it has happened. Don’t hide from it. These things happen. So what?
· What positive empowering questions can you ask yourself?
What is good about this situation?
How can I make the most of this situation?
What can I learn from it?
What are the facts about this problem?
How can we make it a successful outcome?
· Acknowledge that setbacks occur to everyone and you are not being singled out.
· View them as a challenge to overcome rather than an issue or problem
Think about the negative dis-empowering thoughts that you think on a regular basis after a setback.
What new empowering questions could you ask yourself to give some better answers!
Write these down now and make them a habit.
"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."
Liberace
Monday 15 February 2010
Being gentle with a firm resolution to do what is right!
Have you ever had the experience of catching a little helpless injured bird when you were a child?
Can you recall the drama of trying to hold it in your hands without squeezing too hard and still not letting it escape?
Was there a cat in the neighbourhood that might find it and …. Well you know the rest!
You want to hold on to it and protect it, but you will have to let free eventually. The best you can do is help it until it gets strong enough to fend for itself.
I’m sure you may have seen some of the programs on TV about wild animals on the African plains where injured and frightened creatures are taken and restored to health. I try to imagine how terrifying it is for the animals themselves and how
Vulnerable they must feel.
They will view humans as their enemy and be afraid of them.
After a few days being looked after and nourished they will change their perception of humans and see them in a new light.
The people who are doing this work are all wonderful people with a consuming love for animals and nature – it is hard for them to break the ties that they form with those animals and set them free!
They know that they will have to be strong enough willed to let the animals free because that is nature’s way.
Life coaching is very similar – the coach has to be strong and let the client make their own decisions whilst helping them to strengthen their self belief and confidence.
Confidence is best build on a firm foundation of understanding of your own emotions and your perception of reality.
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can."
Richard Bach
"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."
Liberace
My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
Have you ever had the experience of catching a little helpless injured bird when you were a child?
Can you recall the drama of trying to hold it in your hands without squeezing too hard and still not letting it escape?
Was there a cat in the neighbourhood that might find it and …. Well you know the rest!
You want to hold on to it and protect it, but you will have to let free eventually. The best you can do is help it until it gets strong enough to fend for itself.
I’m sure you may have seen some of the programs on TV about wild animals on the African plains where injured and frightened creatures are taken and restored to health. I try to imagine how terrifying it is for the animals themselves and how
Vulnerable they must feel.
They will view humans as their enemy and be afraid of them.
After a few days being looked after and nourished they will change their perception of humans and see them in a new light.
The people who are doing this work are all wonderful people with a consuming love for animals and nature – it is hard for them to break the ties that they form with those animals and set them free!
They know that they will have to be strong enough willed to let the animals free because that is nature’s way.
Life coaching is very similar – the coach has to be strong and let the client make their own decisions whilst helping them to strengthen their self belief and confidence.
Confidence is best build on a firm foundation of understanding of your own emotions and your perception of reality.
"Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can."
Richard Bach
"Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself."
Liberace
My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
Tuesday 22 December 2009
My "Seven secret steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
Positive Thinking from a Coaches Viewpoint
Positive people don’t think about how they are viewed by others – they don’t care if by cooperating and doing what others request they seem weak – if they are enhancing their future and achieving a goal, they are being positive!
Do you look at every action you take as having a good outcome/result.
If you feel or visualise that you may fail – you will fail – you have programmed yourself to fail.
On the other hand if you see yourself as a winner and succeeding all the time – you will succeed.
It’s very simple, you have to be positive in your thoughts and attitude.
Be aware that we are all mirrors and reflect back to others what they display to us and vice versa.
If someone approaches you with an aggressive (negative) attitude you are most likely to respond with the same attitude. So whatever you do or say to others will be reflected back to you so therefore you are accountable for the reactions of the people you interact with every day.
When you meet people in a positive and friendly manner and develop a habit of always being willing to help others you will find the world is a lovely place with friends everywhere.
Make friends – not enemies – remember you will get nothing from an enemy only trouble, but a friend is invaluable and should always be cherished.
Positive people have Self Belief, Persistence, Tenacity, Stamina, and Humanity. All five attributes are essential and complement each other.
Self belief will enable you to be persistent and tenacious, as without self belief you would give up when things are going wrong and instead of looking for a solution to the problem you would give up and accept failure.
When you are persistent and tenacious you will find that each setback you encounter you will find a lesson in the outcome and try another approach to the problem.
With self belief comes an inbuilt reserve of stamina.
All this positive thinking will only make you into an unlovable human machine if you haven’t got humanity.
Humanity is what distinguishes us from other species on this planet, making us loving and considerate, therefore enabling us to have a conscience on what we do to each other.
Hitler was a positive thinker but he didn’t have any humanity!
Bill Gates is a positive thinker and he has humanity (Whether you like him or not he does give a vast amount to charity)
The Dalai Lama and the Pope are positive thinkers and all winners in life think positively.
Positive thinkers don’t indulge in self pity or whinge when everything is going against them –they look for a different prospective on the problem and persist until they find a solution to their problem.
Quote:
"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all, other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you."
Jeffrey Gitomer
Positive Thinking from a Coaches Viewpoint
Positive people don’t think about how they are viewed by others – they don’t care if by cooperating and doing what others request they seem weak – if they are enhancing their future and achieving a goal, they are being positive!
Do you look at every action you take as having a good outcome/result.
If you feel or visualise that you may fail – you will fail – you have programmed yourself to fail.
On the other hand if you see yourself as a winner and succeeding all the time – you will succeed.
It’s very simple, you have to be positive in your thoughts and attitude.
Be aware that we are all mirrors and reflect back to others what they display to us and vice versa.
If someone approaches you with an aggressive (negative) attitude you are most likely to respond with the same attitude. So whatever you do or say to others will be reflected back to you so therefore you are accountable for the reactions of the people you interact with every day.
When you meet people in a positive and friendly manner and develop a habit of always being willing to help others you will find the world is a lovely place with friends everywhere.
Make friends – not enemies – remember you will get nothing from an enemy only trouble, but a friend is invaluable and should always be cherished.
Positive people have Self Belief, Persistence, Tenacity, Stamina, and Humanity. All five attributes are essential and complement each other.
Self belief will enable you to be persistent and tenacious, as without self belief you would give up when things are going wrong and instead of looking for a solution to the problem you would give up and accept failure.
When you are persistent and tenacious you will find that each setback you encounter you will find a lesson in the outcome and try another approach to the problem.
With self belief comes an inbuilt reserve of stamina.
All this positive thinking will only make you into an unlovable human machine if you haven’t got humanity.
Humanity is what distinguishes us from other species on this planet, making us loving and considerate, therefore enabling us to have a conscience on what we do to each other.
Hitler was a positive thinker but he didn’t have any humanity!
Bill Gates is a positive thinker and he has humanity (Whether you like him or not he does give a vast amount to charity)
The Dalai Lama and the Pope are positive thinkers and all winners in life think positively.
Positive thinkers don’t indulge in self pity or whinge when everything is going against them –they look for a different prospective on the problem and persist until they find a solution to their problem.
Quote:
"Obstacles can't stop you. Problems can't stop you. Most of all, other people can't stop you. Only you can stop you."
Jeffrey Gitomer
Friday 4 December 2009
My "Seven simple steps to rebuilding and making a success of your life" 3 months coaching course (Face to face or by phone)will put you in control for the rest of your life! To contact me email: johnmc.7@live.co.uk
“Every action has a reaction”
As we go through life we get an exact reaction from others of what we present to them ie. If we are friendly we get a friendly co-operative attitude from all that we meet, on the other hand, if we are aggressive and have an abrasive and insulting manner we find that most people will want to avoid us and we will eventually find ourselves friendless.
Believe it or not, a lot of people who are abrupt, abrasive and insulting towards others don’t think they are doing anything wrong – most times they have an extreme lack of confidence and have the mindset that others are trying to undermine them.
I have known at least three people who had a preponderance to deal with people in their every day life, abruptly, abusively and with no regard to others feelings.
Oliver was businessman, who meet his customers face to face and he always seemed to have just swallowed something nasty and usually managed to insult everyone at one time or another. Surprisingly his customers stayed with him for awhile, but when a competitor came along he lost the majority of his clients because they could get what they needed without being insulted and embarrassed.
James was a manager in a large corporation and was in charge of a training unit within the company. This training was manual skills and had a number of instructors delivering skills to youths who needed motivation and guidance in everyday personal skills as well as the trade skills.
Every six weeks the James held a staff meeting at which he in theory was to plan future actions for the benefit of the training and to motivate the instructors. At every meeting he blatantly used the occasion to lambast and embarrass the instructors, both collectively and individually.
The instructors walked out of these meetings (on Friday afternoon), demoralised and with their chins on the ground with the prospect of having to go in on Monday morning and somehow find the stamina to motivate their trainees.
I was one of those instructors and I am proud to say that we did find the belief in ourselves and in our trainees to help them forward.
We saw James for what he was – a frightened man without the self confidence he needed for the position of authority that he held and we saw also that he had a persecution complex and never seemed to be truly happy despite having all the worldly good he could want.
Michael had a position with a community organization in which he interacted with members and with volunteers. He was usually civil to the members, but any volunteers who needed to speak to him usually got insulted or spoken to in a demeaning way. This was very detrimental to the organization as it was stopping a lot of people coming forward to help.
Michael was like this all of his time in the organization and was very jealous minded as he lacked confidence and self esteem.
He seemed to think that he could demand respect.
Most people who knew Michael did respect him, but because of his attitude towards them they preferred to avoid him and he did not have many willing friends – He had some friends, only because he was a very old man.
This lack of friends and respect was a catastrophe, as in reality he was a very good charity worker and gave most of his time to helping others.
He never did wake up to the truism “Every action has a reaction”
“Every action has a reaction”
As we go through life we get an exact reaction from others of what we present to them ie. If we are friendly we get a friendly co-operative attitude from all that we meet, on the other hand, if we are aggressive and have an abrasive and insulting manner we find that most people will want to avoid us and we will eventually find ourselves friendless.
Believe it or not, a lot of people who are abrupt, abrasive and insulting towards others don’t think they are doing anything wrong – most times they have an extreme lack of confidence and have the mindset that others are trying to undermine them.
I have known at least three people who had a preponderance to deal with people in their every day life, abruptly, abusively and with no regard to others feelings.
Oliver was businessman, who meet his customers face to face and he always seemed to have just swallowed something nasty and usually managed to insult everyone at one time or another. Surprisingly his customers stayed with him for awhile, but when a competitor came along he lost the majority of his clients because they could get what they needed without being insulted and embarrassed.
James was a manager in a large corporation and was in charge of a training unit within the company. This training was manual skills and had a number of instructors delivering skills to youths who needed motivation and guidance in everyday personal skills as well as the trade skills.
Every six weeks the James held a staff meeting at which he in theory was to plan future actions for the benefit of the training and to motivate the instructors. At every meeting he blatantly used the occasion to lambast and embarrass the instructors, both collectively and individually.
The instructors walked out of these meetings (on Friday afternoon), demoralised and with their chins on the ground with the prospect of having to go in on Monday morning and somehow find the stamina to motivate their trainees.
I was one of those instructors and I am proud to say that we did find the belief in ourselves and in our trainees to help them forward.
We saw James for what he was – a frightened man without the self confidence he needed for the position of authority that he held and we saw also that he had a persecution complex and never seemed to be truly happy despite having all the worldly good he could want.
Michael had a position with a community organization in which he interacted with members and with volunteers. He was usually civil to the members, but any volunteers who needed to speak to him usually got insulted or spoken to in a demeaning way. This was very detrimental to the organization as it was stopping a lot of people coming forward to help.
Michael was like this all of his time in the organization and was very jealous minded as he lacked confidence and self esteem.
He seemed to think that he could demand respect.
Most people who knew Michael did respect him, but because of his attitude towards them they preferred to avoid him and he did not have many willing friends – He had some friends, only because he was a very old man.
This lack of friends and respect was a catastrophe, as in reality he was a very good charity worker and gave most of his time to helping others.
He never did wake up to the truism “Every action has a reaction”
Thursday 26 November 2009
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste
And remember what peace there may be in silence
As far as possible, without surrender be on good terms with all persons,
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
And listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter:
For always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble:
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself, especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
There! Be at peace with God, what ever you conceive Him to be,
And whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with you soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful.
Strive to be happy.
Found on Old Saint Paul’s Church, Baltimore: dated 1692
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Go placidly amid the noise and haste
And remember what peace there may be in silence
As far as possible, without surrender be on good terms with all persons,
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
And listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter:
For always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble:
It is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself, especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
It is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, No less than the trees and the stars;
You have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
No doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
There! Be at peace with God, what ever you conceive Him to be,
And whatever your labours and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life,
Keep peace with you soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be careful.
Strive to be happy.
Found on Old Saint Paul’s Church, Baltimore: dated 1692
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
Franklin D. Roosevelt
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